So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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