I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
