Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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