its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
