38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
