every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
