3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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