she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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