So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
