I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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