I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
