Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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