can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
