Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
