One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
