I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
