He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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