Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
