dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
