His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
