i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
