I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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