if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
