Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Be still, my beating vagina.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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