Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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