a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
