you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
