k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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