The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
