Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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