good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
