Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
