I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I still have a little drunk in my system
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize