thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I believe in your delicious
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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