They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
