Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
