ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
