When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
