i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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