Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
