well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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