just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
