Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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