these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize