Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
