Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
