hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
