Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
