I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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