If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize