(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
