Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
