At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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