found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
