I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
