dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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