its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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