Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
