the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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